I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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