nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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