It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
