I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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