and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
