big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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