About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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