Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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