the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
