He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
