your room smells of hookers.
And success
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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