i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
