worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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