lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
