One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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