the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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