life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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