he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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