Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  I hate ducks.

  (916): View more from California

  What?

  (916): View more from California

  they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

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  (916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm
  Replies (55) Good night (3628) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies

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  (310): Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies http://tfl.nu/s7p4
  Replies (19) Good night (4175) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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  (908): Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now http://tfl.nu/hukx
  Replies (10) Good night (5330) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?

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  (217): If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping? http://tfl.nu/vdup
  Replies (5) Good night (2170) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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  (203): I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight. http://tfl.nu/nwmv
  Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (1593)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."

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  (719): He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it." http://tfl.nu/ssx2
  Replies (10) Good night (2091) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (681): View more from West Virginia

  Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.

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  (681): Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no. http://tfl.nu/cmwe
  Replies (12) Good night (1820) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

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  (715): If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real. (1-715): I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;) http://tfl.nu/oqj0
  Replies (2) Good night (1117) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.

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  (865): I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend. http://tfl.nu/e59a
  Replies (7) Good night (1257) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors

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  (250): Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors http://tfl.nu/eym3
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.

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  (650): I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words. http://tfl.nu/h8c9
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.

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  (619): I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to. http://tfl.nu/633r
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.

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  (714): I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets. http://tfl.nu/myn2
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  welcome to college.

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  (715): all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. (763): welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/etvj
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just 2. But still.

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  (425): Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?! (425): Just 2. But still. http://tfl.nu/bmdt
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (259)

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