i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?