I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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