i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
