Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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