If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize