U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
