Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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