I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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