I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
