He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
