what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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