Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize