he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
