If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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