is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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