I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
