I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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