if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
