I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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