dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
