Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's the barista slut.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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