So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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