i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
