you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
