is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
