he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
