My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
