I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
