Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
