I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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