DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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