Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize