Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
from now on my penis is your penis
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
