tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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