During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
