I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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