it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
