He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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