Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this just has baby written all over it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
