I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
