My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I love you. Go after that dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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