I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize