im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
