maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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