Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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