but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Drunk is a universal language darling
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
