worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
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are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence