Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people