Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize