Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
